a mirror into a teen's heart. the neuroscience behind your biggest crush.
- Rachel Jeong
- Jun 2, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 19, 2023
NEUROSCIENCE, Self-Care
"Attraction involves the brain pathways that control 'reward' behavior (Figure 1), which partly explains why the first few weeks or months of a relationship can be so exhilarating and even all-consuming" (Wu, "Love Actually").
especially at night, this is what one's mind looks like when they sort over and through and between every crack of what could've happened and what might've. too busy being hurled into distortional circles that they can't even sleep or pay attention or do anything else.
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The neurobiological categorization of human "love" lies essentially behind the regions of brain stimulated and different hormones. Hormones are just chemical signals that spread messages like what to do and when to other parts of your body; its private transportation is the blood system (Cleveland).
Attraction is strongly associated to the brain's reward system, activated in a part of the brain called hypothalamus, which is just used a lot for emotions and other important things: "High levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so “in love” that you can’t eat and can’t sleep" (Wu).
as molten coals beat with burning crimson glow at the bottom of the firepit,
one's heart glows at the bottom of their chest
when the brain giddily reminds itself of your person. not reality? maybe.
Relate to this picture: "norepinephrine, also known as noradrenalin, may sound familiar because it plays a large role in the fight or flight response, which kicks into high gear when we’re stressed and keeps us alert. Brain scans of people in love have actually shown that the primary “reward” centers of the brain, including the ventral tegmental area and the caudate nucleus, fire like crazy when people are shown a photo of someone they are intensely attracted to, compared to when they are shown someone they feel neutral towards (like an old high school acquaintance)" (Wu).
Thinking and rethinking about that one "interaction" (or two whole seconds of eye contact) releases this sweet, all-enveloping reward; so why wouldn't you not want to keep imagining and fantasizing?
As dopamine goes up, serotonin goes down, "a hormone that’s known to be involved in appetite and mood. Interestingly, people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder also have low levels of serotonin, leading scientists to speculate that...
...this is what underlies the overpowering infatuation that characterizes the beginning stages of love" (Wu).
Of course, life is only good if there is balance, just like you and watching Bridgerton. Like I'm sure a multitude of us have experienced, this encapsulating infatuation at the beginning can quickly lead to negative effects. Maybe it's even that you just can't stop thinking about it.
"The same regions that light up when we’re feeling attraction light up when drug addicts take cocaine and when we binge eat sweets" (Wu); "These positive feelings are taken to an extreme in this case, causing the user to dissociate from his or her environment and act wildly and recklessly"(Wu). It's important that you are aware of getting "addicted" to the thoughts or even the potential of someone, and don't let that overthinking past its due point. And if you are past that point, and it's reaching several negative consequences however, distract yourself. Show yourself compassion. Show up for your own self. Know that it'll just need time.
Ultimately, these city lights will go out when it turns day. There is a time for everything.
Why is this important?
Awareness on how the brain works on certain things, especially like something so relevant for my peers and I in this time of our lives, is crucial; by understanding why we feel or do certain things allows us to gain knowledge and control of our own bodies, prevents plenty of potential negative consequences, and can lead to a healthier relationship with the concept of love, and therefore ourselves in preserving our self-esteem in this risky but lovely process of crushing.
Sources:
Cleveland Clinic. "Hormones." 23 February 2022,
Wu, Katherine. "Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship."
Harvard University, 14 February 2017, https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-
Copyright © 2023 Rachel Jeong. All rights reserved.
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